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- John Cusack as Brand Hauser
- Hilary Duff as Yonica Babyyeah
- Marisa Tomei as Natalie Hegalhuzen
- Ben Kingsley as Walken
- Joan Cusack as Marsha Dillon
- Dan Aykroyd as Former Vice President
- Ben Cross as Medusa Hair
- Lyubomir Neikov as Omar Sharif
- Sergej Trifunovic as Ooq-Mi-Fay Taqnufmini
- Nikolay Stanoev as Bhodi Bhundhang
- Bashar Rahal as Video Guy One
- Ned Bellamy as Ooq-Yu-Fay Taqnufmini
- Montel Williams as GuideStar